Be the Light

I've desperately wanted to put my thoughts into words this week but every time I have tried, the words just won't come. It feels like the world has been shaken upside down since the bombings.

I moved here eight months ago. Last week as I was getting off the T, I thought to myself, "when did I become a city girl?" It seemed the shift had occured without me noticing. When I first got here, I was terrified. Scared I was going to get off the wrong train stop, scared every person I passed at night was going to mug me, scared of all the unfamiliar noises.

Until, suddenly, I stopped being scared. Now, I can give directions to visitors on the T, I still walk carefully at night, but don't jump every time someone passes me and the unfamiliar noises have blended seamlessly into my city life. I officially recognize myself as a Bostonian.

So, this week, I had no words. I couldn't understand why someone would attack my beloved city, at an event which is the epitome of Boston. The day had started out so beautiful and sunny. I watched the runners pass with friends and was so excited to take part in their inspiring journey of 26.2 miles. And then the day turned, and everything that was once excitement morphed into pure terror.

I am so blessed that my friends who were watching near the finish line were unharmed physically. I am so blessed that I chose to watch the marathon five miles away. But, my heart cries for all of the people harmed and the three people who died.

I've been struggling with all the dark that seems to be in our world. I feel like horrible things keep happening and this week I was deeply discouraged. However, I was talking to Mike last night about what I was feeling and he asked me two important questions:

Can you name three beautiful things that you saw today? 
Can you name twenty people that you know are doing good in the world?

And I answered with three beautiful things and twenty people I know who have dedicated their lives to doing good.

Mike reminded me that there is so much light in the world. He reminded me why I chose to come to graduate school in this city and why I am working towards a degree in which I can help others:

I believe in the light. I believe people have an inherent ability to be peaceful and love one another completely. And although, darkness shrouded Boston on Monday, so much light still shone through. People lovingly helped one another, people checked in with one another, people fought for peace.

So, I will keep working for the light, even with a heavy heart. Because 

I believe in the light.
I love you, Boston.

*Later tonight, I will announce the iTunes Giftcard Give Away*